Monday, October 22, 2012

Fall Fun!

Today was a beautiful Fall day.

Some of it I spent with my siblings and boyfriend raking and jumping in the leaves. 
It was much fun!
Here are some of the pictures my mom took...

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Guy/Girl Friend Hugs: Your opinion!?

A little while ago I entered into a Godly relationship with a young man with the intention of one day getting married.... what many of you call a courtship! I prayed day and night at first to make sure what I was about to do was within God's will for my life.  I didn't enter this relationship lightly. I am very happy and thankful that the Lord is growing us both in our relationships with Him and with each other. I will write more about this later. I studied courting and purity and wasn't even looking for a boyfriend when God put Him right there in my life and at my church. My parents like him and as well as all my siblings. We have started weekly Bible studies together and I am so thankful to God for blessing me with so many great things in my life!

Anyway, I didn't sit down to really write a lot about that topic (but I did- haha)....

The thing on my mind is something that bothered me (again) recently. It's bothered me in the past too.
My parents raised me (&my sibs) with morals; Godly morals. They want us to enjoy life but never do anything to dishonor God. We are to serve Him first. We are to live lives that honor Him and keep a good testmaony. I want to be a godly girl, as my blogger name states.

So Anyway...... this little occurance happens from time to time and makes me think...
What am I talking about? ......guy/girl friend hugging!
OK-It's a social situation- with other believers, other homeschoolers and Wham!- hugs all over but just often certain people.  How does a girl that wants to live Godly, and also have a Godly courting relationship handle this?..... you know what I am talking about, right girls?... I understand a close friendship where you would feel comfortable giving that person a hug but should it be done?  Certain types of people ruin this hugging thing all together. It's so obviously flirting, but then, others might have better intentions. Yes, I do think some of them do have those good intentions but even with those intentions how are the questions below answered?
How is it that in order for you to be friendly you have to hug most guys in the room.?? I have to say this often seems simply like an act of flirting. Is that how God wants us to show love? I am being serious here. If I have set boundaries within my relationship with a guy, I don't want all these other girls throwing themselves into his arms- "to be friendly".
I've seen it so often with certain types of people. What can you do about it? Nothing really, but isn't it irritating? I have many boys that are my friends that I would say I could hug if I wanted to ...some boys I've known since birth. Does that mean I should hug them everytime I see them to say Hello? I am just  saying we don't have to touch for me to show them that we are friends.
Once I am married I do not plan to hug other guys so why would I now? Why girls? Why guys? (I mean guys do this too so I shouldn't just be putting this on girls.)
I am not a "cold" person because I do not hug everyone. I am a little more on the shy side so, is that it? I don't think so... My teenage sister is pretty outgoing and she sees most of the same things I see with this.

What mature man goes into church and hugs woman that are not his wife on a regular basis? Is this a maturaty issue? Is it just because everyone else does it in my group??
If you hug one friend, shouldn't you hug everyone as to not make others feel bad? If you were in a relationship would that change your feelings? If you hug all the guys as a young lady, once you enter a courtship, what do you do then with him? If you hug everyone else won't he want something better than what every other guy in your group gets. (&vice versa)

I know many of you are thinking I am going overboard here but seriously-- think about it. So- am I wrong here? Should I be hugging guys that are my friends? I can't see how hugging all these guys really is appropriate or needed to show them I'm their friend.I do hug my closest (girl)friends and my immediate family but I truly do not overdo it and try to not do this if I feel I am excluding anyone around or would make them uncomfortable.

I would REALLY like your input here. I hope if you read this, you will comment and tell me your honest thoughts on this topic. I can't say for certain if it is wrong but don't feel it's right either.
Most huggers and huggees can be innocent here but then again,  it is full body contact.
1.If you were in a relationship would that change your feelings on hugging others? And, if you are only hugging when single isn't that really just flirting?
2. What if you hug some people and leave others (either b/c you are not as close or they don't hug), Doesn't that make an awkward situation and if you are truly hugging to show you care or being a good friend and being Godly, then what about considering the feelings of those others?
3.What if a guy/girl you aren't close to wants to give you a hug?
4.What if you know the guy "likes" you. Does that change your answer?
5. Could this be a stumbling block for some boys? Do the girls that are being such "good friends" even care about this?

This is just something I wonder about from time to time. I am still not sure if there is a certain RIGHT answer but often see it happening and also see problems with it sometimes.
Remember I don't mean family hugs. I am talking guy/girl friendship hugs. I also don't mean side hugs. I mean a full hug/squeeze.- (body-to-body contact)
Even if "the group" accepts this as ok- is it staying pure? Do you think I am going too far?  Well... If someone gets "used to" touching and hanging on the opposite s*x doesn't that then make this very casual? I am not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill with this but these are things I have really wondered about. And I want to hear how other conservative Christians (both guys and girls handle this and what they think about it)

Please help me here and let me know what you think about this. Please no rude or crude comments here. I'd like to here from fellow Christian readers.